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Word Gems exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Rosie and Alex
Wikipedia: "Love, Rosie is a 2014 romantic comedy-drama film directed by Christian Ditter from a screenplay by Juliette Towhidi, based on the 2004 novel Where Rainbows End by Irish author Cecelia Ahern. The film stars Lily Collins and Sam Claflin, with Christian Cooke, Tamsin Egerton, Suki Waterhouse, Jamie Beamish and Jaime Winstone in supporting roles." Editor's note: Plot, in brief: Rosie and Alex have been friends almost as long as they can remember, since the first year of school. The ubiquity of mutual presence, during growing-up years, both in and out of the classroom, created for them a kind of self-imposed taboo against thinking of each other, or at least expressing such, in romantic terms. Later, during teen years, an incident associated with a high school dance, created a hurtful misunderstanding.
Alex mistakenly interprets Rosie’s seeming non-interest as rejection. This gross disconnect from true feelings sends each of them spinning out of each other’s orbit, as they enter adulthood living their lives pursuing others; which disingenuity belies a hidden motivation of forgetting, and repressing, the scarring memory of a lost love.
Kairissi. Alex said, "I have always loved you." Does he mean this was true even when he was six years-old?
Elenchus. No, not the way a mature man would mean it. Boys are not famous for perceiving these things. She might have been able to put it together early on, because Love is Woman's primary domain, but, for him, he will realize this truth only in retrospect. Probably, much later, when he's alone and far away, he will discover, to his shock, that he is missing her; and in this existential coming to himself, he will now, in spirit, also come to her, and finally perceive - everything - clearly. Only then will he realize that, in those early days, under heavy layer of immaturity, he loved her even then. K. Because Woman tends to be the first to "come alive," this would mean that it often becomes her burden to wait for him. E. This could be the case. We design our own classrooms of instruction. K. And if she becomes angry at her favorite "stupid boy," she might defy her own sensibilities and good judgment. E. The greater the anger and sense of injustice, the longer it will take to find their way back to each other.
K. That high-school dance incident was their big chance to break out of the carefully manufactured “ludicrous proposition.” But it didn't work out for them. E. It wasn't yet their time; you can't make a cake bake faster by turning up the heat, you'll just burn it. K. Tell me, buddy – in our travels, we seem to be meeting, so often, this issue of meant-to-be lovers “out of phase” with each other.
E. One’s ready and the other is not; back and forth. K. The high school dance was very dangerous for them. A totally wrong meaning was taken; and, the other retaliated. This is what hot-heads do.
E. It would fester into marriage-on-the-rebound; a retaliatory, malicious seeking for another. And good luck to us with that. K. Next thing you know, many years have passed and misery now comes up with the sun, becomes a settled way of life. In fact, you’re so numbed-down at this point, you think it’s normal and can't even imagine what it was like to feel good. E. It's the land of the walking dead, devoid of hope of ever finding happiness. K. However, finally, Rosie begins to take back her power over her own life. She gets off the marriage-go-round, realizes that, she just needs to wait for him, no matter how long it takes.
K. For once in her addle-headed life she's going to do the right thing. It's not pleasant or pretty, but at least she's finally living authentically. What’s bothering me is – just how common is this “ships passing in the night” thing? E. It’s more common than we know; in fact, for those who lack “eyes in their head,” it’s unavoidable, almost a required course for graduation. However, a day will come when, suddenly, you just see... in the middle of dropping your ice-cream... the lights come on, and you just see... that, a long time ago... you lost somebody. K. I would say that this is a primary hinge of one's history, around which every other event of life turns.
K. We finished the above discussion a long time ago, but, as I review it again, I want to say something, I’m not sure what... I just feel bad. E. It’s said that the whole world loves to see a couple in love; and the converse is also true: we grieve when they fail to come together. K. Yes… that’s right… but the grief is mainly for ourselves… We want to see lovers in love because it gives all of us hope that one day, somewhere, somehow, we too might find happiness; but, when they miss the train, we're all plunged into despair and bereavement. E. There's always another train coming, and they'll get as many chances as they need to get this right. K. But our sense of grieving is all the worse when kids grow up together. Parents, family elders and close friends, touched with presentiment, look at them playing, interacting, and secretly assess, “There’s something about these two babies, even when they squabble, a magic with them, you can see it in their eyes, hear it in the way they talk, you can tell they belong to each other. They’re too young to understand right now, although maybe the little girl does know - but, mark my words, they have something, you can feel it.”
K. I am overcome with a profound sadness as I see them here… the long sorrowful road ahead, the many years of tear-stained misunderstanding, false turns, and simply losing each other. E. I think we need to keep in mind, however, that those coming hurtful years can serve a good purpose. Suffering the loss of the one person you were meant to be with might be just what is needed to jar one into open-eyed realization and full awareness -- of who they truly are to each other. K. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - on steroids.
E. Once this great awakening commences, the entire inner person begins to unfold, expand, blossom. K. It’s strange isn’t it, Elenchus. Two little kids, annoying each together, each with the other’s name etched upon their soul, eventually become not only a “reason to stay alive for” but catalyst for cosmic spiritual evolution.
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