Word Gems: Soulmate, Myself: The Wedding Song: Verse Three: Love and Life

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Word Gems

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

Soulmate, Myself:
The Wedding Song

Verse Three, Part II

The Love That Brings You Life

finding ultimate reason for becoming man and wife

partnership and joint-service in the harvest fields of God

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I am now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on My part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Me to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in My name
There am I, there is Love.

A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.

Well then what’s to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer, then who’s the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you’ve never seen before?
Oh there is Love, there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Me to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in My name
There am I, there is Love.

Editor’s Prefatory Comment

This page is being added nearly 17 years after my initial realization of the importance of “The Wedding Song.”

“The Wedding Song: an Earthrise restatement” was written about 4 years ago. At the time, I judged it to be the best encapsulation of the Song’s message and one of my favorite offerings. I still do, but “The Love That Brings You Life” is now a close contender.

I hope you see what I see as you read this page. It begins somewhat calmly with a review of oft-stated principles, some restatements, but the temperature in the room will soon be rising.

Coming into view now is a vista of marriage, to my way of thinking, as “something never seen before.” See what you think.

Special note: As I approach my mid-70s, I have no desire to add anything more to the WG site; in fact, sometimes, an inadvertent prayer, I request to be relieved of duty. This means that, if I do write, it’s because I see something really good, and find myself compelled to make record, lest it be lost. It’s a strange gig, this old-age thing. In my head I’m still 18, but when I look in a mirror I gasp, “What happened? I don’t even recognize you.” Old age is nothing like I thought it would be. But then, all of my decades of research have changed me. Earlier in life I had a nice house in the country, a prestigious job, with speaking engagements, and expense account. But, today, by choice, I rarely leave my small apartment, no longer drive, keep to myself, live alone – like Methuselah on a mountain-top. My investigations have created a sense of keen estrangement from the world. I’m like the Spirit Guides now who report that, upon entering this planet’s negativity, it’s like wading into a noxious sewer pit. But, about getting on in years, as a young person I always thought that an interest in romantic love was for teenagers or young adults, and that, when the white hair arrived, one would sort of be dried up on the inside, with n’ary a thought of love. Now I suppose, for some, it is this way, but, as discussed elsewhere, there is the “Father Bruno principle”; and Silver Birch, too, asserted that love, even romantic love, constitutes integral part of Divinity’s mind – all of which means that, if one enters enlightenment while still in this world, then, as one grows older and, hopefully, more mature, one’s attunement to the realm of love increases apace. This was wholly unexpected; however, a burgeoning consciousness of love resulted in the writing of four books on the subject. I often picture myself in Summerland, and I long to be there. I see my farm, my house, my animals, a large pasture and lake. But, most of all, I envision an important service project, in the spirit of "embrace this God-life, really embrace it." All of the fun things of Summerland, the pink-sand beaches, the parties, the travel, and much more will be fine, but I am taken by a vision of what I want to contribute. It's a large project and may require a thousand years, and longer, to bear substantial fruit. But, for our purposes here, I would point out that, this harvest-field desire -- for myself or anyone -- has much to do with the highest level of marriage.

Kairissi. Let’s explain what we’re trying to do here.

Elenchus. Can we first explain it to ourselves?

K. I think it’s like this: We’ve had, what feels like, a grand starburst of insight concerning the true marriage and its purpose – what it looks like in its highest expression.

E. This realization sounds like a mystical experience.

K. I think it is that, and, as we know, it’s not so easy to communicate what one has seen with the eyes of the soul.

E. We can’t convey completely, but we can provide some context.

K. We cannot drop a perfect second-hand image into another’s head, but we can compare and contrast with lesser representations.

E. In our commentary of the Song’s verse one, we introduced Andrew Jackson Davis’s Great Harmonia with his seven levels of marriage. I think we should review these, reformulate, and add our own take.

K. So, let’s build a ladder, levels #1 to #7, least to greatest purposes of marriage, look at everything afresh, and see where this takes us.

level #1 purpose of marriage: sex and physical attraction

K. When we’re immature, this is most everyone’s favorite reason to be married. Intense feelings create the illusion of the enduring.

Mother Nature has a way of getting her way

E. It’s a bio-trick of Mother Nature to perpetuate the species, and proximate cause to the undoing of millions.

K. Let’s hasten to add, however, there's nothing intrinsically execrable with physical love. We need the thrill of sex with a sacred beloved. And each level of marriage is something good, and very good – but if we get the timing and proportion wrong on any of this, it will not be well for us.

Dorothy Sayers, Gaudy Night: "The proportion and relations of things are just as much facts as the things themselves; and if you get those wrong, you falsify the picture really seriously."

K. This is true all the way up the line, for all the levels.

composite happiness

E. So, what we’re really saying here is that marriage, in its ideal form, the seventh level, will contain all of the six lesser elements.

K. And if we stop at any of the six, try to plant the flag and say, “this is enough, we’re good now, mate,” then an unsatisfactoriness will invade. We won’t find the happiness we thought we were bargaining for.

E. Those who are green at this might believe they'll beat the system.

K. Uh-huh.

E. A misuse of sexual energy, for 5000 years, has toppled civilizations, but for those who claim exception, there's that new saying -- FAFO.

level #2 purpose of marriage: domestic business contract, quid pro quo, mutual aid, negotiating 'the white picket fence'

K. Many John-and-Mary couples have pragmatically decided that, all things considered, this is the best way to approach marriage. The salvation of perfect mate on white horse has not arrived in their lives, and now they’re casting jaundice eye, with measure of despair, upon the hand of cards they’ve been dealt. See their troubled wedding-day soliloquies here.

the staged photo-opp wolf-grin

E. They’re not crazy about opting for this. Despite oversized wedding-day smiles, on some level, they know they’ve railroaded themselves. However, having admitted that “the clock is ticking,” and realizing that any chance for “the white picket fence” is quickly slipping away, they fold and decide “to settle.” It's a late-hour attempt to salvage a semblance of happiness.

K. It’s like going to the prom with someone you don’t even like, and maybe your mother even had to broker a deal, but you agree to this infelicitous expedience because it’s worse, you tell yourself, to be left on the shelf.

deal or no deal

E. This is the 50-50 marriage. It's the Teamsters negotiating. Each comes to the bargaining table with a list of “I really need this to make me happy,” but knowing full well that concessions will have to be made, or there’ll be no deal at all.

K. Listen in on the self-talk: “Ok, alright, I know I won’t get everything I always wanted, but at least I can have something in life, at least I’ll have someone to sleep with, at least I’ll have someone to share the mortgage payment, at least we’ll have a family with children for my old age…”

E. Pretty grim. What John and Mary don’t yet know, or will not admit, is how quickly a feeling of gnawing unsatisfactoriness, a desperate emptiness, will engulf their spirits as a result of all this settling.

level #3 purpose of marriage: the chimera of cordiality; is marrying your best friend a road to emotional rescue?

K. As we move up the ladder on these purposes, we note that the mirages of marriage become increasingly hard to detect.

E. They’re like certain political philosophies, beguiling many, as they promise much, sound really good on the surface, but lead to downfall of society.

fashionably errant

K. It’s almost a sacred cow, who would dare argue against it: “you should marry your best friend.”

E. Sounds very reasonable, but only to the uninitiated.

K. Explain this.

is forever over already

E. There’re so many things wrong here, it’s hard to know where to begin. But consider the following deficient view of marriage counseling: “When we’re newcomers to life, we think the thrill of sex and a pretty face will be enough to sustain happiness in a marriage forever. But, when these surface allurements begin to fade, we realize that we have to grow up. The time of fireworks is over. And we come to admit that a higher expression of the human spirit is what's needed.”

K. Sounds sort of convincing, but is true love as insipid as this? We can hardly wait.

E. “Friendship, not sexuality, binds people for the long-term, and, if you're able to, it would be good to marry your best friend.”

K. Elenchus, what's the real problem with this philosophy?

E. Let's make this clear. Friendship is not the basis of marriage; it will be the result not the foundation. Twins will eventually be “best friends,” and closer than that, but your true mate, your one and only, to-die-for, eternal lover, somewhere out there, is not necessarily one you’ll like right off the bat after polite introductions.

baby, you were so bad

K. The hearts, flowers, and chocolates might have to wait a bit.

suffocating with your best friend

E. And for those who would argue, and decide to be safe and “marry their best friend,” just be advised that, while your friendship may continue, and even in the midst of friendship, an existential malaise will begin to suffocate and choke, as you sink into a misery of starvation for authentic marital love.

level #4 purpose of marriage: companionship, avoiding the stigma of doings things alone

K. CS Lewis said that friendship is seeing the same thing, sharing a similar outlook. But companionship is a little different. It’s doing things with someone else, and you don’t necessarily need to meld on life philosophy.

E. "Companion" literally means "breaking bread with another."

K. And you don't have to be friends to eat together.

E. It can be unpleasant, and sometimes even dangerous, to do things solo. We often hear, “I’d like to go on a cruise, but I wouldn’t want to go alone.”

nothing sadder

K. The same for going to a movie, or a restaurant, or a trip to the beach. And, of course, the big one is, “I don’t want to go through life alone, or grow old alone.”

Solomon Burke, Cry To Me (1961): when you're all alone, in your lonely room, and there's nothin', but the smell of her perfume... when you're waitin', for a voice to come, in the night, but there's no one… nothin' can be sadder than a glass of wine alone, loneliness, loneliness... don't you feel like cryin'? - cry to me…

solitary confinement

E. And people do marry on this basis, because it's psychologically oppressive to live alone. The stats indicate that hermits have a shorter lifespan. And many will settle for a companion, because friends are scarce in life.

K. But the result is the same. Companionship may carry on, your daytimer may be filled with joint activities, but even in the midst of enjoying the security of an alliance, one may find oneself beset by a terrifying yearning for true love.

level #5 purpose of marriage: comfort, acceptance, rest

K. Elenchus, in many of our discussions, we’ve referenced that afterlife testimony about the “complete rest to the soul.”

The mystic Carlyle Petersilea, channeling his father's words from the other side, expressed this concerning the sacred beloved:

“It was the first time in my life that a sense of home and complete rest had filled my soul… Obey me implicitly in one thing. Do not marry for any consideration [of status, comfort, or physical beauty]; if you do, bitter woe will be your portion, and a lifelong misery on earth; every morning you will desire death, and every night your pillow will be wet with tears… [why will you curse yourself thus?] wait for the counterpart of your own soul.”

E. Franz Petersilea over there speaks so forcibly about the importance of “complete rest to the soul.” He seems to be asserting that this is the highest blessing afforded by authentic marriage.

K. We need to be very careful what we say here because he's not altogether wrong. What Franz has seen is right up there, very near the summit of Mount Everest.

E. This is one of those sacred benefits of true love that has to be experienced to really get the impact. We’re not talking about some banal version of “rest” like, “oh, it’s such a relief to finally have someone with me, I don't have to worry now about parents and friends saying I’m a loser” – no, it’s nothing like that.

'please pretend to be my husband, someone's following me'

K. And, speaking of false flags of “comfort, acceptance, rest,” I came across a lady’s testimony on X. She was in a store and some creepy guy was following her. Feeling desperate, she went up to a fellow she didn’t know and said, “Please act like you’re my husband, I’m being harassed by someone.” The “new husband” turned to the stalker and shouted at him, causing the would-be assailant to slink away. The lady was then escorted to her car and safely put on her way, but not before a short conversation about marital status. He had a family, and it was clear that she was quite dismayed that she would not see him again.

E. The protection he offered became a proxy for “comfort, acceptance, rest.”

K. It’s extremely seductive to find someone who makes you feel safe and secure. But this is not the highest reason to be married. For when the crisis passes, and after a time, reality will come calling during a 3 AM session of introspection.

E. The comforting dynamic of which we speak is presented in a great many war films. One coming to mind is “The Winds Of War.” It features many instances of husbands and wives, during WWII, far from each other, in need of “comfort, acceptance, rest” and sometimes protection to survive. And, like the “new husband” in the store, rescue of this sort can create the illusion of love.

K. And it is love – but not necessarily the highest form of love. And those who come together on this illusionary basis will yet realize that there’s more to finding one’s true mate than feeling warm and fuzzy due to protection.

Editor's note: See discussion by Lana and Clark, her reason for dating a jerk, the famous "warm, safe, and dry" argument.

K. There is a mystical-experience expression of “complete rest to the soul” that will yet profoundly overwhelm.

E. We’ve frequently employed close-kin synonyms – the “coming home,” the “utter familiarity,” “you are just like me,” and “soulmate, myself.”

K. Now, with all this soul-affinity, one might easily be led to exclaim, “surely, this is the loftiest pinnacle of love’s exaltation in the true marriage.” What would be your response, Elenchus?

E. I would say, all this is very close to what’s most important.

K. But, there’s something missing?

E. Every human being seeks for comfort, acceptance, rest, and safe harbor. This is well and good.

K. We need this, most especially from the one we love.

E. Of course.

K. And I would say that these assurances of human dignity are sought for particularly after living in the war-zone that is planet Earth.

E. Everyone is traumatized after the Earth-mission. But consider this: I referenced “safe harbor,” and it reminds me of a wise saying:

Clarissa Estes: "When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for."

K. Yes… safe -- but this is not what great ships are for.

USS Enterprise, Pearl Harbor, 1984

E. Most Twin Souls have not yet discovered the vast firepower embedded in their spiritual DNA. They're designed to be representations of Mother-Father God. Safety will not be a concern for them, but not because they'll remain in dry-dock harbor. They were made for much more and will have duties to attend to.

Additional thoughts on comfort, acceptance, rest:

K. We should point out that, sometimes, receiving comfort and acceptance can signal a toxic relationship. We need to keep in mind that a true lover, when necessary, will engage in, what we’ve called, “sacred combat.”

E. Yes, that’s right. He will not "go along to get along."

K. There’s a wrong way of going about comfort and acceptance. These can be forms of manipulation and trying to get something from you.

E. In the world, we often hear, “The person who loves you will accept you as you are.” There’s a small grain of truth here concerning things that can’t be changed, but, for the most part, it’s very poor advice.

K. Your true lover, the one who loves you most, will not allow you to wallow in dysfunction. He will enter sacred combat and fight you, and not give up, to make you face what needs to be done. He won’t let you get away with anything that will cause your destruction. He will require you to rise, and not sink into a mire of pathological thinking.

hiring process as severe gauntlet

E. And you know what? All this confrontation needs to take place, especially, before we get married.

K. So often common dating practice amounts to sweet deception, the proverbial “putting best foot forward,” role-playing something you’re not, so as to beguile the other into accepting you.

E. Proto-lovers considering marriage should spend far less time with “hearts and flowers” and much more having intense, probing, sometimes invasive and unpleasant, conversations, questioning each other on all sensitive aspects of life.

kissing in the dark

K. Until a couple is willing to demand "due diligence" from each other, they're just kissing in the dark. That's the easy part, we don't need instruction so much for that. And she'd also be well advised to determine, during the preliminaries, if she's kissing a frog.

E. This hidden information is absolutely required. And it will be made known, one way or another. The only question is, will they find out what the other is really like before cutting the cake, or will the grand debut make its unceremonious entrance after the contract is signed?

malicious entente

K. The real person is going to come out of hiding very quickly, masks will slip, just as soon as negotiations, official well-wishes, and photographs are finished.

'intense conversations'

K. Think of it as a kind of Senate confirmation hearing. You want to know the details of how the candidate thinks before you let him have power over you. Can you really trust him? - this is the big question.

02.12.25. “Senator Bill Cassidy (R-LA), a doctor who previously said he was ‘struggling’ with the nomination, announced he would support RFK Jr [for Secretary of HHS] after ‘intense conversations’ with the Cabinet pick…”

K. "Intense conversations." That's exactly what we're talking about. Every pre-nup couple should want to know the inner workings of the mind of a prospective mate. Hold the bubbly and the confetti. There'll be plenty of time later for roll-out-the barrel if we pass muster on security clearances.

E. And yet, for John and Mary, usually, it’s all backwards – we want the dessert and ticker-tape parade first. In the history of the world, verified by the experience of billions of couples, if that's all you have, the story never ends optimally.

reverberations, striking far and deep, even into the next life

K. We can want the ideal of marriage, the "white picket fence," so much that safeguards might be compromised, things we said we'd never do. It is a form of insanity, leading us to suffering that can last for one's whole life, with reverberations into the next life, too. It is incredible how "one hot moment" has far-reaching consequences for mind, heart, and soul.

E. Our more seasoned readers here will know what we're talking about, but the puerile may scoff, how could one moment affect my whole life, and even into the next?

K. And the answer, unfortunately, to reference that new saying once again, becomes FAFO. We're dealing with the most intense human feelings here, the kind that, if misused, can scar and maim the inner sanctum of one's person, unleashing memories that can haunt and not go away.

E. The narrow issue is, we don't want to wake up the morning after to discover we married a stranger -- someone who does not cherish all that we hold sacred, does not have the same values, does not want the same thing from life – and now we’re more than dismayed, and stuck.

K. Which means we've taken our places within the ubiquitous ranks of, what Ann Landers used to call, "the miserably married."

baby, you were so bad

rest to the soul

K. The kind of “rest” Petersilea is talking about is a mystical experience. We can’t arrange for it, it happens when it wants to happen, and it may initially overwhelm with someone who annoys. And therefore, don’t worry about this kind of “rest” because it will happen on its own schedule.

merchandizing each other is what the world calls love and marriage

E. In the meantime, if you believe you love someone, be aware of the kind of acceptance and comfort you’re offering, or receiving, lest it devolve to interpersonal politics, giving-to-get, mere gamesmanship -- a tawdry worldly philosophy of “it’s your job to make me happy, and I'll tell you what you want to hear to get what I want."

K. There are songs about, tell me sweet lies, if only you'll stay. I'm sure it worked out so well for them.

footnote

E. Your reference to lovers’ “rest” reminded me of something.

K. What are you seeing, buddy?

E. Late the other night, I was lying in bed, thinking about all the mystical perceptions you and I have had, even when we were children. We chronicled most of these in the “waves” article.

K. We’re about to enter a topic where nobody will believe us.

E. I understand.

K. And what did you see late at night?

E. Many of these mystical perceptions came with very positive feelings – however, before I go on, I would point out that, not infrequently, these mystical perceptions interrupted anger, for each other, at the time.

K. It’s as if the deeper soul is saying, “I don’t care how you feel at the surface of personality, I will be in love with whomsoever I chose, and I won’t ask your permission.”

E. We’ve experienced the truth of this statement.

K. But you were telling me of your late-night thoughts.

E. And I asked myself, “What was the most intensely positive or wonderful feeling I’ve ever experienced with you?”

K. Now that’s an interesting question.

E. At first I thought, it might be that “Flintstone” event. I say this because I’ve actually said to myself many times, “Those were the happiest moments of my entire life.”

K. We were nine years old, and we just laughed and laughed together, it was so much fun.

E. I’ve remembered it all my life. But then I thought, “Wait, it wasn’t the peak!”

K. And that’s strange, too, because if we say it was the “happiest” time of one’s entire life, how do we go beyond that?

E. As I lay in bed, in the darkness, I saw that there’s something even better than happiness and laughter. And then I said, maybe it was that time, later in life, of “no you and no me,” of collapsing ego-boundaries and higher level unity. This was more than wonderful – again, in the midst of anger.

K. You said that this mystical experience was so intense that you felt yourself to be choking, you couldn’t breathe. There was too much positive feeling to process.

E. And once again we might ask, what could top this, what could make me feel more than this for you?

K. (silence)

E. But then I realized, there was that other time. Let me interrupt myself again, I will explain a little of what happened, but I already know it won’t sound like much.

K. It was your mystical experience, “for your eyes only,” and wasn’t meant for others. So just do your best to explain – I’d like to hear it again.

E. A long time ago now, I'd just come back from a several-year journey. Just a short visit to the old village. By chance, you happened to be visiting home at the same time. I had no desire to talk to you, was still angry about those early years. But suddenly a relative, believing that I’d want to talk to you, puts a phone receiver in my hands, and now, altogether unexpectedly, I am hearing your voice. It was surreal.

K. (silence)

E. Well, I’ve already given my testimony elsewhere concerning what happened next, a major seismic mystical experience. Picture the scene. You are perky and teasing, speaking to me as if there hadn’t been any issues between us earlier, and this immediately feels insincere to me, and now I’m inwardly raging, “Why are you talking to me as if we’re old buddies!? I remember how vicious you were to me!”

baby, you were so bad

K. (silence)

E. But then it happened. It’s hard to explain but, my anger was being smothered by a sense of “coming home.” Geography had nothing to do with it, not because I was spatially near. There was something about your spirit… it just seemed so... familiar… but this explanation falls flat… it was more like… your very person, all that you are, is my home… and I have come home. And I will also say this, these feelings of utter familiarity… a soul-to-soul familiarity… of complete safety, complete rest – because I was finally home, with you, where everything seemed a reflection of a deepest sense of who I am – all this engendered the most wonderful positive feelings of my entire life. At that moment, the thrill of sexual encounter would have been a poor and pale contender… And what does all this mean? I don’t know, I merely testify to what happened, when I met you again, after a long absence.

K. Elenchus... in this world we’ve been blessed to perceive brief glimpses of a supernal life-of-love to come. We can’t say more right now.

level #6 purpose of marriage: knowledge acquisition, exploring the cosmos, quest for the truth, in search of oneness with God

K. As we said, each of these upper-level purposes of marriage seems to be the final word, but then we find there’s more. Will there always be more?

E. That's a good question, and I think it's yes; and yet, there is a certain hierarchy.

K. Level #6, even before we get into it, seems really compelling. Discovering truth and an essential oneness with God! – how could there be anything higher than that? But, we’ve been burned before by speaking too soon.

E. In my youth, I was in Norway climbing a small mountain, nothing dangerous.

E. I’d see a plateau ahead, thinking it would be the top, but, upon reaching it, would find there was more to come.

K. We can’t see the top when we’re starting to climb.

E. Recall in the “levels of consciousness” discussion, no matter what level we’re on, we can’t see higher than where we are. Even on the lowest “basement” levels of shame and shamelessness, everything seems normal to the dwellers therein. They believe, this is the way it is, there couldn’t be anything else.

K. So, too, with the levels of marriage.

E. Much could be said about level #6, it’s a whole universe of exploration and quest for the truth. So much knowledge out there.

K. And there’s great delight in investigating all this with a Darling Companion.

E. It’s the ultimate Indiana Jones adventure.

K. Think of the millions of alien civilizations, the treasures of wisdom that might be gained. And to search for all this with the one you love! – how thrilling! And again, we wonder, what could be more wonderful than this?

E. But it’s not just the external cosmos. The really big frontier of exploration is the “inner cosmos,” our link to God. This is where the real action is.

Channeled testimony via the direct-materialization mediumship of W. Aber, presented in the book The Guiding Star: “The first thing is to make resolute search within your heart and make the great discovery of the aim and usefulness of your individual life. He who succeeds in this discovery, and holds firmly to it all his earth life, has made a success, whether he wears purple and fine linen, or homespun. You scan the heavens with telescopes, but far wiser is the man who becomes the astronomer of his own soul, [the inner cosmos]. You make analysis of the soil of the field, but more difficult, more desirable it is to make analysis of the soil of your own heart, and find what flowers may grow there best, and what noxious weeds must be guarded against. It is not what a man does that makes him great, but what he is. Action is merely thought dressed in visible garb. Being must ever precede doing. Below the surface which the world sees, are springs [see John, chapter 4] which feed the life. To keep these springs fresh and sweet, is the best object of endeavor. Study yourself carefully; and also study the seeming simple things of Nature, and you will learn that the secret of life is eternal Progress; and that the Earth life, which is of the utmost importance, is only the primary grade of life. Learn your first lessons well, that you may have a solid basis for your future unfoldment.”

K. And I know you want to interview a hundred of the best shamans and medicine people over there who know the secrets of the universe.

E. I want to find out how to unlock the “super-powers” within, the kind that would make a Marvel hero envious.

K. And imagine doing all this with your one-and-only!

E. An excellent teacher on this subject is Federico Faggin. He’s one of the world’s greatest inventors and scientists, but he improved his resume some years ago with a life-shattering mystical experience. This allowed him to perceive a oneness with God and the universe (see discussion of Faggin’s experience on the “consciousness” and “quantum” pages).

K. It sounds like what happened to him is a foreshadowing of our own path to perceptions of oneness with God.

level #7 purpose of marriage: the love that brings you life; finding ultimate reason for becoming man and wife: partnership and joint-service in the harvest fields of God

K. Most people would say they’d be more than satisfied with any of these higher-level purposes of marriage.

E. If only the satisfaction would last.

K. But people say this about the lowest level, too, the pleasures of sex. But, Elenchus, at what point on this ladder do we enter a level where the pleasure is permanent?

E. Let's answer this.

K. I mean, look at the last two – complete rest to the soul and oneness with God! If a couple has this, the question will be asked, what else is there?

E. We would hope for more because the first six levels cannot offer all that we need.

K. Are we saying that complete rest to the soul and oneness with God are not permanent conditions?

E. I don't think that's the message.

K. Why do we need something more? If we have oneness with God, aren’t we all done?

E. When I first glimpsed the answer, I was stunned. It seemed so elegant and unifying, but it took most of my life to see it.

K. What did you see?

E. Some truths are so beautiful in their simplicity that, if you try to state the general rule, it won’t sound like much, just something trite.

K. Try to explain.

partnership is much more than friendship and companionship

E. We’ve talked about friendship and companionship… Many people would gladly settle for these if it could last… but there’s something more potent – partnership. But not in the ordinary sense.

K. I don't like the word "partnership" because it makes me feel like some project is more important than our love.

E. It doesn't have to be that way.

K. Why not?

E. This word is negatively colored with mercenary associations with business, but let’s expunge the baggage and see the core. Friendship is sharing a similar view, companionship is doing things together, but partnership is more – it’s working on a project together.

K. I suppose that partnership does not preclude intense mutual love.

E. In fact, it's the kind of partnership reserved only for those who love each other intensely.

K. Tell me why.

E. Here’s the deal. Remember when we talked about Plotinus and his ideal forms? Romantic Twin Souls were “made in the image,” the ultimate ideal form, of Mother-Father God. We are to become like them. While there is no bodily man and woman ruling the universe on a throne, there is good evidence that “they” represent some kind of dual male-female energy. It's a magnetic energy. Each is drawn to the other. And this energy -- which is the basis of what we call romantic love -- this spirit, or essence, of the hidden male-female God, is at work in the universe.

K. And “they” constitute a kind of partnership.

E. And what is the work in this partnership? It is to share, with those "made in the image," the joy of simply being alive.

K. A Twin couple, “made in the image,” is designed to emulate the ideal form or essence of Mother-Father God. This would mean that we will find our deepest happiness by emulating the divine parent(s).

E. Engaging in service unlocks a sense of deep satisfaction, of meaning and purpose, embedded in our "spiritual DNA."

K. Because this is what the Family Of God does.

E. And this means that, as soon as we gain our sanity and maturity, as adult sons and daughters of God, we desire to take our place in the Family Enterprise of helping the younger ones find their own joy of living.

K. It's a beautiful vision. The first six levels of marriage focus on the self, finding one’s own happiness.

E. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We need to develop ourselves.

incomplete and unfinished

K. There’s nothing wrong with any of this, but – it's how children think. It’s all about them.

E. It's not a sin to be immature.

K. It’s just incomplete and unfinished. I was the one who said, how could there be more than finding oneness with God? But, of course, the answer is, how about helping a younger brother or sister find their own joy?

E. Not long ago, I was given to see the importance of what I call “the harvest fields of God.” There is much work to be done.

E. And Twins will find their highest and best happiness, their greatest sense of wholeness and fulfillment, meaning and purpose, when they work and serve, in partnership, together in the “harvest fields” of the divine parent(s).

K. I can see that none of the benefits of the first six levels is lost, but now reformulated, given firm foundation, as something new and more satisfying.

K. We almost forgot. We need to talk about how all this relates to “The Wedding Song’s” phrase, “the love that brings you life.”

E. Explain it to us, Kriss.

K. “The Wedding Song” is speaking not of bio-life but life as elevated consciousness, an accessing of the life of God. For Twins, this life is particularized as their very own unique soul bond.

E. This "life" and soul bond affects everything Twins do.

K. It's what I was just talking about, the "firm foundation" and "something new." Here's an analogy. It’s like having an ordinary room, no decorations, no adornments. Now picture that room again, maybe it’s going to be used for a wedding party, and now there are streamers and candles and banners and glitter and flowers and special lights. These enhancements describe what happens to all of the seven levels when augmented by a romantic soul bond.

E. It's Pinocchio brought to life.

scintillation, shimmering, stardust

K. Two can have friendship, or companionship, or sex, or acceptance, or the other levels, but it won't really take you to where you want to go without the "life" of a sacred soul bond. It truly is like injecting life. Everything comes alive now in a new way. It's a scintillation, the 2.0 existential upgrade, a shimmering aura, almost like stardust in the air, for everything Twins do.

K. What we say here will sound like exaggeration to those who've not experienced this.

E. They could think of it this way: there must be something really special that allows Twins to enjoy a romantic love that never, ever fades.

K. This persistent sparkling “life,” a full humanity and personhood, known only to Twins, is far more important than people know - it's required to “survive the terror of living forever.”

E. Kriss, I am deeply moved. The concept of sacred partnership and joint-service for Twins speaks to me profoundly. I'm seeing that, if a couple has this, they are on very solid ground to face the unending ages to come.

Summary of Verse Three, Pt 2

We are creatures, constitutionally and in deepest makeup, who seek for significance to life.

We crave pleasure, but absolutely require meaning and purpose. The former, for the disciplined mind, can be delayed for a very long time, if the latter comforts one’s being.

Viktor Frankl developed an entire branch of psychology, Logo Therapy, exploring this proclivity. Much of his theory was developed during internment in a Nazi concentration camp. He found meaning and purpose to suffering, even in its most dystopian expression.

We are headed for Summerland, only one missed heartbeat away. Over there, we’ll find every conceivable legitimate pleasure. But if we live our lives pursuing mere pleasure as primary directive, we will lose our way and take our place among many millions, whom I call the “insane 500.”

We require meaning and purpose to remain clear-eyed. And our marriages, in that coming world, if they are to last, if they are to make us happy, must reflect ultimate meaning and purpose.

E. The true love and marriage is much more than hearts and flowers, so much more than what John and Mary have... it makes us come alive in a manner utterly unknown to most.

K. It activates, vivifies, animates... it's "something never seen before."

E. It is “the love that brings you life.”

Postscript I

forgive me for wanting you so

E. There’s a beautiful old love song, There, I’ve said It Again.

K. It goes back to the 1940s, has been released by several artists. I think I like Bobby Vinton's version the best.

E. There's a line that sometimes gives me pause: “forgive me for wanting you so.”

K. Tell me, Elenchus, why does it move you?

E. One of my fears – maybe it’s unfounded but – I see us in Summerland. And I want you more than you want me.

K. A lop-sided love affair.

E. I am so glad to be with you, and my wish is that we might never be out of each other’s presence, not even for a little while. And I’m almost embarrassed to discuss this with you, as it seems too extreme, but it’s how I feel and what I want.

K. “Forgive me for wanting you so.”

E. And so I’m feeling bad about this, believing that you’ll think I’m too needy if I bring this up. However, if I don’t talk about it, it’s going to fester inside, and I’ll begin to feel that you don’t love me as much, and if this were to happen, then I couldn’t be with you.

K. How do we handle this?

E. When I began to analyze myself about this, I was tempted to judge, maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe I do want you too much.

K. But eternity is a very long time, and how are Twins supposed to sustain their love through unending ages to come if it’s not propelled by some kind of great force?

E. And so, as I was thinking about this, I came across something on the “prologue” page, a reference to Plato’s dialogue in the Symposium:

“The twin-soul image was graphically portrayed by Plato 25 centuries ago … In the Symposium Aristophanes speaks [of] … how Zeus struck the soul into two opposite halves, each to wander the earth in search of the other:

And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment. These are the people who pass their whole lives together, yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover’s intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment.

If Hephaestus, son of Zeus, were to ask the pair: ‘Do you desire to be wholly one, always day and night to be in one another’s company? For if this is what you desire, I am ready to melt you into one and let you grow together, so that being two you shall become one, and after your death in the world beyond you will still be one departed soul instead of two – I ask whether this is what you lovingly desire?’ – and there is not a man or woman, when they heard the proposal, would not acknowledge that this melting into one another, this becoming one instead of two, was the very expression of their ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love.

K. Hephaestus asks your very question, “Do you desire, always day and night, to be in one another’s company?”

E. And when I saw that, I realized what I was feeling is not an aberration but a normal universal mindset – not for John and Mary so much but – for Twin Souls.

K. On some sort of deep cosmic-subliminal level, they know that they were once a singularity, created by God as a union, and now they can’t help themselves but to crave being together all the time.

E. I’ll offer the proposition that, if a couple does not experience this “desire, always day and night, to be in one another’s company,” then there’s presumptive evidence that they, in fact, are not Twin Souls – and should not be together, as they’re wasting each other’s time.

K. Tell me more about what you feel, Elenchus.

E. First of all, everyone needs to be free to do what they really want. I feel so strongly about this that I would never chase a girl to be with me. It has to be natural, a mutual desire to come together. If I had to try to convince someone, what good is that? Anyone who can be convinced one way, can later be convinced another way. No, I want no part of any p.r. campaign or debating team.

K. (silence)

E. And when we finally get to Summerland, finally released from living in the war-zone that is planet Earth, finally free, as Silver Birch said, from all of the “hindrances, obstacles, and impediments” that have kept Twins apart for so long, then, I know, I will need you in a special way for a while.

K. (softly) How do you envision it?

E. Well, for example, I see us at a party. The guys are by the fireplace, having a drink and talking shop, and the girls are in their own group, across the way, discussing home and family, laughing and making jokes. But, in this apparently unguarded conviviality, I have not forgotten you, and I occasionally glance your way. And you have not forgotten me, are not unmindful of my desire for you, as you signal, with your eyes, that you are near, and thinking of me.

K. (silence)

E. As I say, especially after the war-zone of Earth, there’s a certain lingering trauma in my spirit. I can’t shake it. Outwardly I project normalcy, but inwardly I’m still beset by fears of losing you.

K. (softly) Like the starving Japanese man, war survivor, who later never went anywhere without a piece of bread in his pocket.

E. (sighing) If I’m very honest, and I hate to admit it but – it is like that. I feel so traumatized that, not only would I prefer to “always be in one another’s company,” but my trauma is so bad that I start to feel uneasy even if you’re in another part of the house.

K. (softly) It's a PTSD, Elenchus… and you don’t have to apologize … we are going to get through this together, and I will help you dissipate your underlying terror of losing me.

E. (silence)

K. I can feel your severe unease, even now. You are actually angry with yourself that you need me to this degree and even that you need to talk about this. You don’t like being dependent, and you don’t like to show weakness. And I know that you're subliminally raging, such that if I were to act in a manner to indicate disrespect, you would count this as humiliation, that I don't really love you, and then you would leave me and live alone. But, Elenchus, I will help your spirit to heal, we are going to be ok, and I want you to know that you’re not going to lose me again. And I have my own stories of trauma over losing you for decades, and neither of us needs to feel diminished or embarrassed to say, “forgive me for wanting you so.”

E. (sighing)

K. Love is my natural domain, Elenchus, and let me tell you how, in practice, we will find our healing. We’ve often spoken of what we call “joint meditation.” And I know, I can already feel, that if we lie in each other’s arms, touching foreheads, whispering love to each other, and if we do this regularly, as we already crave to do, we will find remedy for those bleeding wounds in our hearts, and we will convince ourselves, in a visceral way, that the endless Earth-nightmare of losing each other is, at last, and finally, over.

Postscript II

love and wisdom in practical application

Emanuel Swedenborg's visions of the afterlife, filtered through private beliefs reflecting Protestant Christianity, were laced with culturally-determined error.

Famed afterlife researcher Sir Arthur Conan Doyle well makes the case. And Swedenborg himself, appearing and speaking via the physical mediumship of William Aber, admits that his reports contained many “mistakes.”

However, where Swedenborg was good, he was very good. In his 1768 work “Conjugial Love” he offers many valuable insights concerning authentic marriage as expression of love and wisdom.

One point in particular directly confirms the above discussion concerning the Pinocchio effect.

Swedenborg helps us to see three things, he says, from God, which, as we will discuss, bring to life, give firm foundation, to the first six levels of marriage:

These three are love, wisdom, and use. But the love and wisdom do not appear except in idea, because in the affection and thought of the mind only; but in use they appear really, because together in bodily act and work; and where they really exist they also subsist; as love and wisdom exist and subsist in use, it is use which affects us; and use is the faithful, sincere and diligent performance of the works of one’s employment.

in 'use' they, love and wisdom, appear really

Love and wisdom, as defined by Swedenborg, are ethereal concepts, but “use” transforms them into practical application.

The love of use... earnest activity in use, keeps the mind from dissipating itself and from wandering about… [the] earnest activity of the mind in use keeps and binds these [love and wisdom] together, and disposes the mind into a form receptive of wisdom…

I would put forward that “use,” the practical application of love and wisdom – entering the “harvest fields of God," a couple’s joint-efforts of humanitarian service -- brings to life, establishes, the first six levels of marriage; makes them permanent;

as the Beatles sang, 'the love that has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight'

or, as Swedenborg has it, “keeps the mind from dissipating itself”; stated differently, the pleasures of the first six levels are prevented from fading away, puts them on solid ground, now integral to the grand cosmic enterprise of living life eternally as Twins, sons and daughters of God.

It takes more than altruistic intention to keep a couple together for unending times to come. But if their service-mindedness is built upon soul-energies of sacred love and wisdom, they’re good to go.

See much discussion on Love and Wisdom here.

K. The subtitle to Swedenborg's book is "the pleasures of insanity pertaining to promiscuous love."

E. "The pleasures of insanity." Catchy phrase. But I have no idea what he means.

K. Uh-huh.